A friend of mine, Steve May, recently shared with me about a phenomenon I could hardly believe. It is so easy to fall into the trap of believing “The Sky is Falling” in every realm of our national and spiritual lives. I have some good news to share with you on parenting.
According to The Economist, parents today spend twice as much time with their children than parents of a previous generation.
“One analysis of 11 rich countries estimates that the average mother spent 54 minutes a day caring for children in 1965 but 104 minutes in 2012.”
Dads still spend less time than moms, even working moms, but they spend much more time than dads in the past; their time with children has increased from an average of 16 minutes per day to an average 59 minutes per day.
This is one area, then, where parents are making great progress.
Tip for Parenting with love and logic
Since we have a lot of younger families at Chapel Hill, I wanted to offer a love and logic parenting tip. I recently heard a speech by a clinical psychologist, Angela Duckworth, who affirms this love and logic principle. It’s called, “The Hard Thing Rule”. It is based on this notion that grit is something we learn through the experiences of life. There are three simple parts:
- Do something that is hard to do. Practice the hard thing over a sustained period of time in order to see the benefit of working hard at something in order to improve.
- You are not allowed to quit in the “middle” of doing the hard thing because everybody wants to quit in the “middle”. There are appropriate reasons to quit. These are extenuating circumstances such as illness, family emergencies, etc. But, quitting in the “middle” is not the right time.
- Nobody chooses the hard thing but you. It is important that you pick the hard thing that requires passion and energy. What you choose is up to you. But you may not choose to not have a hard thing to work on.
By the way…this is not only for the children and/or youth of your home. This is for everyone no matter their age or stage in life, including grandparents!
–Rev. Jeff Gannon