Growing and developing your EQ

Dr. Travis Bradberry says IQ only explains 20% of our behavior. Most of our behavioral patterns are determined by our EQ. The good news…EQ is a flexible skill that can be improved. Here is how we grow and develop our EQ.

  1. Self-awareness – the ability to accurately recognize your emotions as they happen and understand your general tendencies for responding to different people and situations. If you spot a behavior in another person that annoys you…you have the same tendency. If you spot it, you got it, as the saying goes!
  2. Self-management – using awareness of your emotions to choose what you say and do, in order to positively direct your behavior. The biggest mistake people make is that people don’t understand that positive emotions need to be managed as well.
  3. Social awareness – recognizing and understanding the emotions and perspectives of others. Requires that you focus on the others around you rather than yourself.
  4. Relationship Management – using awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to manage interactions successfully. It is seeing how your behavior impacts others and making adjustments so that you can improve the quality of the relationship.
  5. FYI….EQ accounts for 60% of job performance; high EQ is 90% of top performers and 20% low performers. The CEO typically has the lowest EQ of anyone in the workplace!
  6. How do you increase your EQ?
    1. Make a commitment to become more self-aware.
    2. Pursue feedback and own mistakes.
    3. Lean into discomfort when working on a relationship.
    4. Don’t run away from stress but learn to manage it.
    5. Get enough sleep = 7-9 hours per night. Side effects from missing sleep include: irritability, cognitive impairment, memory lapses, decreased creativity, symptoms similar to ADHD, impaired immune system, risk of diabetes type 2, tremors, aches, etc.
    6. Moderate caffeine intake = too much caffeine can cause visual challenges, ringing in the ears, heart rate issues, abdominal pain and nausea, anxiety, confusion, trembling, twitching, dehydration, etc.
  7. Working on your EQ will make you better at decision making, time management, handling change, empathy, communication, anger management, social skills, assertiveness, trust, flexibility, and team work.


What would you rate your EQ? Rate yourself and then ask people at work, at home, and friends. See what they say about your EQ. Ask is my EQ low, medium, and high and tell me why you evaluated me that way.

Are you willing to do what it takes to improve your EQ? Create a plan and working on one thing at a time.

No comments yet

The comments are closed.